You are not connected. Please login or register

Kelly Lernaea [Complete]

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Mon Feb 01, 2016 10:02 pm

Akaia

Akaia
Enrollment Form

Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Kelly_wip_by_akaia28-d9qan6p

Basic info
Name: Kelly Lernaea
Age: 20
Birthday: 9/28
Gender: Female
Race: Faunus (Komodo dragon)
- Poisonous saliva
- Forked tongue
Height: 7'
Weight: 180 LBS
Face Claim: (drawn by me) Me

Stats
STR:4
DEF:3
RES:3
SPT:2
Aura 160|140 HP

Personality
Group: Warrior
Likes:
- meditating
- Tinkering with machines or her bionics
- Building things
- Killing

Dislikes:
- Bullies
- People who disturb her peace
- Vegetables

Fears:
Traitors: Her turncoat friend is what caused her to loose her right arm and lower jaw. Her fear also proves to be anyone's fear as well due to her holding a lot of resentment for anyone who betrayed another.
Loud noises: Like all faunas, Kelly is prone to being momentarily stunned by noises louder than a Nevermore screeching two hundred yards from her.
Attachment: She is taught that attaching onto someone after making a bond is a risk to their effectiveness in combat.

Overall Personality: Kelly is quiet, polite and secretive to the point that trust is often hard to make with her. But she is loyal and wont hesitate to take a bullet for anyone. Not a natural leader, but she can take charge when needed. She often acts like a guy more than a girl. And a mechanical wizard as well. She can be found in her dorms almost the entire day fixing and building things to upgrade her bionics' performance.
She's quite and secretive and a loner to most points. But she gets along with anyone for the most parts if you don't piss her off in any way, shape or form.

Abilities
Aura type: Defense
Aura Color: Mint Green
Semblance: Hydra (see under)
Item 1: Ripple Corruption (Arm weapon, literally)
Item 2: Cuirass- Physical armor. Just a piece of armor that covered her chest and hip.

Permission Granted to view:

Spoiler:


Semblance

Hydra
"Cut off one head, two/three more grows back."
Kelly can summon the silhouette of the five headed, green fire spitting swamp dragon. It doesn't do much except take blows and spit out green fire or snap at the attackers with their long neck. It's upper body hovers over her like a ghost, but with a complex mind that can be individual personality or by her. Her iris' glow a bright green while activated.
It takes a ethereal form. Despite that, it has a physical condensation of a jelly-like substance.
How the thing breathes fire is from Kelly's condensed aura. She can keep this thing going as long she has aura to spare afterwards. She would use this as a last ditch resort when all things go down the drain and there is total chaos everywhere.
The green fire does emit dark green fumes that poisonous to inhale. (Which is why she prefers to work solo in case of poisoning her own party on accident.)
The poison can be countered by moderate wind or water because wind can dilute the smoke to a mild nauseous effect, and it's pretty dense in water so it sinks to the floor instead. Recommending you don't take the fire to the face.
The fumes is caused by a chemical reaction with the aura fire her semblance breathes out and the air. The fire itself does not do significant damage except soften materials slightly for a short duration of time.
Known as a damage fire-type semblance.

History and Sample
History:
RP Sample:



Last edited by Akaia on Tue Feb 16, 2016 5:32 pm; edited 5 times in total

2Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Sun Feb 14, 2016 8:06 pm

Jet Jeyson

Jet Jeyson
Hello!

First of all sorry for the delay, but I will be your mod for you application :)

A few things need to be corrected but I find your character interesting overall.

While your birthday is classified by your char standard, I'd ask that you put it there. You can still mention in parenthesis that it's classified but for the purpose of the character creation I'd ask that you put it visible in the app ^^

You have too many stat points. The total should be 12 points and you have 17. You will have to remove 5 points from the stats you currently have.
Same for health and aura, they have to equal 300 together, like 100/200, 150/150, etc and have to be a multiple of 10 (so can't be 125/175 for exemple).

I personnaly don't mind the additionnal background informations that you wrote, and I can see you have enough words for the personnality too in there so that's ok, but for the sake of respecting the template word restriction, I would ask you to put the personnality description from that part in the overall personnality section. Honnestly it isn't a big deal to me so long as the content is there somewhere but if you could it'd be more consistent with the template.

The weapon can't have all three forms from the start. You can add more forms at rank 3 and 5 of the weapon but for starter it is restricted to 1 form (not counting the "at rest" form), be it the blade form, the gauntlet form or pistol form. You also can't have additionnal weapons, it's one per person, so can't have a separate pistol either. It's your choice how you approach this restriction.

The armor as second item is fine but even if it's evident I would ask you to just mention if it's a Physical armor or Magic armor, just to prevent any ambiguity.

And finaly your semblance.
It is a pretty tricky one to evaluate but I understand what you're going for so I'll tell you how I could see it applied to the forum rules about semblances.
I am fine with the overall idea of it so long as it respects the semblance rules here when it comes to it's uses in combat. You can use it as an attack, a buff or defense or anything so long as you have a logical way to explain how your semblance manages to have this effect. As for taking hits, it has to be the same way as a Defense use from the semblance.
It can't be multi-elemental either so you have to choose (and precise) what element it is made of or if it's pure aura. What I mean by that is that for it to spout actual flames it will have to be made of Fire. In your situation I'd suggest having it be made of pure aura and have the attack be aura shaped like fire. For the poison part, there is a poison status effect but your semblance can't breathe out actual poison (unless it's made of poison or you can explain why the element it's made of is poisonous to the ennemy).
One important point I'll mention, the poison can be airborne but it has to be avoidable by your opponent, so visible at the very least. It can't be some invisible poison in the air that the ennemy can't see comming. All semblances requires a visual queue or something similar that allows opponents to possibly defend against it (if they find a plausible way).
Last point about the semblance, when you say it becomes more tangible the more she feels the fight, this can be a IC thing but the effects won't be any stronger because of it. Also can't be completely solid unless you choose an element that is actually solid. For exemple, if it's made of fire, it would be illogical to have it be solid. You can always say it's less etheral looking, but do remember that even if you have a fully solid element, the most damage a semblance can block as a defensive use is 20, so any hit stronger than that would still go through. In the end you will still be required to limit yourself to the Semblance rules for the uses of it.

Other than that, the story and sample looks fine to me :)

Whenever you're done editing, just bump the topic again so we know you're done ^^

3Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Sun Feb 14, 2016 10:40 pm

Akaia

Akaia
Fixed!
I changed some things around for easier reading.

4Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Mon Feb 15, 2016 12:45 am

Jet Jeyson

Jet Jeyson
Hello again!

Thank you for the update

Unfortunately the weapon still doesn't work but that might be my fault a bit since I haven't explained correctly.

Weapons are limited to 1 form, and that includes one function. By that I mean, a sword is a sword and you can do anything with it that you could do with a sword. If a sword is also a gun without changing forms, that's 2 functions and something that needs to be added at rank 3 or 5.
In your case, your gauntlets have claws and gun function, that's 2. You can go for either claws or gun. The lightning for the claws can't be accepted either for multiple reason. Other players uses Semblance to add elemental attributes to their attacks or Dust that they have to pay for. In your case it'd be all included in your weapon which would be a bit unfair to those players. If it was as a second form (as like adding a tazer function to it) it would probably be ok but it can't be included in your first form. For the Hydra rounds, are they the main amunition for your gun or is it another type of gun that uses them?
The shield part of you weapon isn't an actual shield though. Since you already have a physical armor, we can easily say that it's part of this armor so it's acceptable, but the pauldron isn't an additionnal armor over your actual armor. Just making sure you're aware.

For your Semblance it's fine now. I still want to remind you that it's limited to the Semblance rules. In your case, what I understand of it, is that the Hydra is made of Condensed Aura and that's it. The Aura projection is poisonous in nature and any poisonous emanations are visible like a mint-green cloud in the air. The fire aura attack is basicaly just an attack of condensed aura that happens to be shaped like fire, but it isn't fire and therefore can't actually burn, more like corosive I'm guessing. Same for the heads attacking, it's all semblance attacks. Remember that both fire attacks and heads attacking are Attack Uses, so the damage is equal to the Aura spent for the attack, maximum 20 aura for 20 damage.
Also, simply manifesting the Hydra costs 10 aura. Even if it doesn't do anything, it's still 10 aura for the utility cost. But since it's 10 aura to use it as a buff too, I'd recommend always having either a defense, resistance or attack buff when it's up :P Same aura cost anyway ^^

If that's what you had in mind then it's ok :P Otherwise tell me what you actually wanted and I'll see if it's possible.

After that and choosing a weapon you'll be golden!

5Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:29 am

Akaia

Akaia
Edited.

Yes, the Hydra Rounds is her ammunition that is costly to produce.

About the corrosive fire (Which it is) - does that mean it's like a mild dissolving or like a debuff?

6Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Tue Feb 16, 2016 12:47 pm

Jet Jeyson

Jet Jeyson
That is up to you really how you want to apply it.
If you want to actually have it poison the other person, it would have to follow the Status Effect rules.
If you want it to debuf the opponent (which is possible even if it's not mentionned in the rules yet. It happens around the same way as a buff but with reversed effects). It all depend on how you use the semblance in your RP and what you're trying to do in it.
Debuf are usually more like something hindering the opponent, we can't physicaly damage either body or equipment on an opponent since it can't be permanent, the effects would wear off after a post.
So corosion is fine as a poison but you can't make some guy's armor rust to hinder his movements. In theory, the aura of the person flowing through the equipment protect it from damages of that kind.
Still, it's all fine so long as you can explain it logically in RP and so long as it's fair. Creativity is the beauty of the semblance rules ^^

Anyway, I now understand that the weapon is the gun. Just remember if you punch someone with the gauntlet it's unarmed damage (so your STR stat times 5, without the weapon additionnal damage). Later if you want you can upgrade the gauntlet to add claws as you wanted or even just something that makes her punches harder, and then the weapon damage would be added for melee attacks ^^

EDIT:
Just one thing I hadn't realised. A height limit has been set on the site. It is 7', so you're 5 inches too tall ^^''

After confirming that you're fine with what I explained and reducing your height a bit (7' is still super tall anyway XD) I'll be able to approve you :)

7Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Tue Feb 16, 2016 5:37 pm

Akaia

Akaia
Done!
Though one more quick question, I don't know if I completely missed this or is not mentioned- but does aura cover robotic limbs as well?

8Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Empty Re: Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:15 pm

Jet Jeyson

Jet Jeyson
Yep it does :) It's part of your char's body now so for rules purposes, your character's aura flows through it like it would the weapon.

Anyway!

I happily gives you Jet's Stamp of Approval!

Kelly Lernaea [Complete] Jet_Stamp_of_Approval

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum