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Naria Moss(complete)

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1Naria Moss(complete) Empty Naria Moss(complete) Wed May 11, 2016 11:11 pm

Wycca

Wycca
Enrollment Form

Naria Moss(complete) 2gvjuxc

Basic info
Name: Naria Moss
Age: 19
Birthday: Jan. 28
Gender: Female
Race: human
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 140
Face Claim: see beginning of post.

Stats
STR: 2
DEF: 3
RES: 3
SPT: 4
Aura 200|100 HP

Personality
Major: Dust
Likes: animals of any sort, being outside, science, tea, sweets, and books
Dislikes: being stuck in one place, hypocrites, coffee,
Fears: heights, making mistakes, losing the ability to fight.
Overall Personality: Naria is a very stubborn and strong willed character. Though she tends to stay in the background during fights and disagreements don't mistake it for timidness. It just means she's listening to what's going on and thinking of the best way to move forward. Plus due to being born with osteogenesis imperfecta being in any sort of hand to hand combat tends to end in busted limbs so she's learned to hold her tongue and hang back until things cool down. In a fight though she's an excellent shot sniping at opponents at a distance while her teammates finish them off.

Abilities
Aura type: Defense
Aura Color: purple
Semblance: Retaliation. When hit with a physical attack the shield it generates will deflect blows.
Item 1: Dark brown compound bow
Item 2: earth dust

History and Sample
History:
RP Sample:



Last edited by Wycca on Sat May 14, 2016 7:09 pm; edited 4 times in total

2Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Fri May 13, 2016 12:54 pm

Wycca

Wycca
Made a few small changes so bump.

Also wth autocorrect human and faunus are not the same thing.

3Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Fri May 13, 2016 1:17 pm

Richard Lionheart

Richard Lionheart
Alright ^^ this is a good app but there are a few problems. First is that you do need an FC. You have talked about a "First image" but I'm not seeing it. Please add an FC, if you can't find it's source that's fine ^^

Second is the semblance, I could use some more explanation on how it works. I think I have a rough idea of what you're saying, however defense against attacks is 20 aura and it works as defense against all attacks. Dust or physical. It reduces damage of any type by 20 for 20 aura.

Third is that, with your dust tipped arrows, while you are free to do that with your dust. You only start with ten uses of one of the level one elements (water, earth, fire, wind) and dust is a consumable. Once those ten uses are used up you will need to buy more for lien from the shop, though by taking it now you can buy any of the level one elements from the shop. Please put your choice of dust in the app in place of the "Dust tipped arrows." Bump when done ^^

4Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Fri May 13, 2016 1:25 pm

Wycca

Wycca
That's what I get for copy pasting on a tablet. Darn thing didn't paste it all. Anyway bump

5Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Fri May 13, 2016 2:06 pm

Wycca

Wycca
Bit more editing bump

6Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Fri May 13, 2016 2:38 pm

Wycca

Wycca
Another edit bump

7Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Sat May 14, 2016 1:14 pm

Wycca

Wycca
Next day bump.

8Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Sat May 14, 2016 2:25 pm

Richard Lionheart

Richard Lionheart
Alright, so you have to put the FC you will keep until you pay for the FC changing item up. Not a placeholder that you can change at will. Just the wording in the FC segment implies that is all ^^ The picture you have up now is fine as an FC ^^

Also, wording on the semblance, the phrasing is still a little off. It'd be that she can generate a shield to deflect blows, not the opponent's own attack as it is worded now. Bump when done ^^

9Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Sat May 14, 2016 7:10 pm

Wycca

Wycca
Edit bump

10Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Mon May 16, 2016 9:05 pm

Wycca

Wycca
All of the bumps

11Naria Moss(complete) Empty Re: Naria Moss(complete) Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:12 am

Akui

Akui
Hey there Wycca, I'm so sorry your app sat around for this long. I guess Rich got really busy, but no matter, as this new mod is here to help! You app is pretty much done, I really only needs a couple changes.

Similar to Rich, I'm a bit confused on what your semblance does. Does it reduce the damage you take for a hit, but only when you get struck and not prior, therefore being more of a reaction to an attack than a barrier or shield you put up ahead of time? If so, please just word it a bit better, I apologize for the lack of understanding here.

Only other this is, we have skills now! You must pick a single skill they excel at and a single skill they don't do so well. This current list can be found here, but for future reference it is the topic titled 'Skill List' in the 'Rules and Information' section.

Other than that, you are ready to go, just as soon as those changes are made.

http://www.discordapp.com/#5424

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